Daniel James birth story

Born July 14th 2004 at home in birthing pool in Bath

Things started when I had a reflexology session to induce labour on Monday. I was part of a study the midwives at the RUH were doing to see if reflexology could be used to naturally induce labour. I had already had one session on Friday and this was a follow up session. The difference with this session was that I actually went home and went to bed for a couple of hours (unlike on Friday when I had walked back from the RUH and generally been active for the rest of the day.) I definitely think the rest helped the reflexology work its magic with my uterus because I was getting definite cramps later on Monday evening. But I didn't make too much of it as the pains weren't regular, and not particularly painful. Although when we were sat in The Ram that evening, I was sending a text message to someone and I had a cramp halfway through. I must have made a funny face or noise because when I looked up from my phone my friends were all staring at me perplexed. "Is it happening now?" they asked which I laughed off. But later that  night I woke with distinct, but not excruciating, regular period cramps every 10 minutes.  I had got excited thinking "This is it" but I fell asleep and to my dismay everything had stopped by the time I woke again the next morning.

I had a lazy morning. Martyn was working at home and I had planned lunch with the antenatal girls so I just ambled into town. I figured there was no point just sitting at home waiting for something to happen. For all I knew it could be days before labour started properly and I didn't want to miss out on the latest gossip with the girls. So I met Jane, Nicola, Anne and baby Felix in Cafe Renee in the sunshine. It was lovely. Jane and I discussed our threatened inductions and I told her about the various methods I had read about on the internet (Evening Primrose Oil is another technique I would swear by!)  - although to be honest I was quite sure by that point I wasn't going to need to be induced. I had another couple of contractions during lunch which made Jane & Nicola look aghast, but I tried to dismiss it as nothing - I didn't want to go around bragging that I was in labour and find nothing happen for days.

The afternoon was getting on to be a scorcher and although I was tempted to wander about town after lunch I sensibly decided to head home to sit in the sun and read my book.

Out in the garden Martyn fetched me a sun lounger, a drink and my book and I tried to relax. But I kept getting these twinges every few minutes or so. I tried my best to ignore them as I had last night and at lunchtime but it was getting increasingly hard to focus on the page let alone read a sentence! This was it! I was properly in labour! I'm not sure exactly how far apart the contractions were at this point, 5pm, but I knew I couldn't read more than half a page without having to get up and pace around until the pain had subsided. Moving around definitely made it more bearable - I don't think I could have sat still if I tried!

I stayed outside for as long as I could. I knew I was coping OK and felt that I wanted to save alerting Martyn and calling the midwife until I really needed to. By about 6pm I was ready to share this pain with Martyn who was very good and noted down the length and interval of each contraction and affixed the TENS machine to my back while I tried to busy myself with some ironing (as I read somewhere that ironing is the ideal early labour activity - it takes your mind off the pain, gives you something productive to do and provides you with something to lean on mid-contraction!) It only really served to get me hot and bothered!

Martyn also gave me some Homeopathic remedies - Aconite to calm my fears for the coming onslaught and Arnica for bruising (not sure if you're supposed to take it before the birth - but what the hey!)

I asked Martyn to page the midwife at 7.30pm. He described the frequency of the contractions and I spoke to Katherine (the only midwife in North Team who I had yet to meet!) who asked me if I wanted her to come over. I had had enough of soldiering bravely on my own by this point so I asked her to come over. She arrived at 7.45 and I felt a bit of a fraud as I felt completely normal between contractions and would have nice chatty conversations with her for the minute between contractions then I would have excuse myself while I went and paced round the kitchen for the duration of the contraction! I was so sure she would tell me that it wasn't real labour as I wasn't making enough of a fuss! She did however ask to examine me. This was the nerve wracking bit - I was hoping that I would be at least some way dilated although I had a secret fear she would tell me my cervix was undilated. I could have danced for joy when she told me I was 3cm dilated! Things were moving along nicely.

Katherine then I asked what I would like her to do. She offered to stay from then on, but I opted for her to go back home and I would call her when I felt in real need. I figured I was in it for a few more hours yet and she would have to go and get me some gas and air anyway. When we were alone again Martyn insisted on filling the birthing pool that had been standing in the kitchen for the past 2 weeks. I was loathed to turn off my Tens machine though and was worried that being in the pool would mean I would be restricted as I was finding my pacing the kitchen and lounge the best way of coping with the contractions. But Martyn convinced me I could try paddling in the water first and then make up my mind.

I'm so glad I listened to him. As soon as I immersed my feet in the water it felt like a huge relief. Before long I had stripped my clothes and discarded the TENS machine and I was in the glorious warm water. I knew that there were occasions when birthing pools can slow labour but I didn't give a damn at that point. It just felt sooo nice being on all fours in the pool that I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. Martyn was a star and rubbed my lower back with oil (Clary Sage?) during contractions which felt wonderful and fed me cartons of juice through a straw.

Soon the contractions were coming thick and fast and becoming quite intense and I felt like I really needed some extra pain relief, so I asked Martyn to call Katherine again at 9.30pm. She arrived at 10 and settled herself on the kitchen floor next to pool where she stayed pretty much for the whole of the labour. The Gas and Air was very much needed! I wouldn't say its true pain relief but it did seem to take the edge off it and it made me feel quite drunk and giggly at times. Actually there were times in the labour that I just felt like I had been out on the razz and was having an over emotional argument with Martyn!

So labour proper consisted of me on all fours in the birthing pool, resting my chin on the flat edge, gas and air mouthpiece clamped between my teeth at first counting my way through the contraction (which I found v useful for breathing and being able to tell how long contractions were lasting for) and later when it was getting really intense I was just grunting and moaning my way through them (to tell the truth I actually enjoyed that - there was something very liberating about making animal noises!) In full on labour I found myself retreating completely into my own world and not noticing at all what was going on around me, just trying to get through the next contraction. I remember in one moment of lucidity looking at the clock in the kitchen, noticing it was 10.30pm and bemoaning the fact that time seemed to be going so slowly. If labour took around 12 hours I still had a long way to go.

At 11pm I needed to know how far along I was as I was finding it harder to cope so I asked Katherine to examine me. But there was no way I was getting out of the pool so she had to examine me while I leant out of the water in a very ungainly fashion. Good news - I was 8 or 9 cms dilated. That gave me hope. I was beginning to feel pressure down below, like a need to open my bowels but that feeling only came intermittently between contractions so I didn't have any defined feeling that I was entering the "pushing stage". Then, tragically, the gas and air ran out!! I was very alarmed, even though Katherine had promised me someone else was on their way with 2 more canisters - I had got through 2 already! I ended up keeping the mouthpiece between my teeth, more as a comforter than anything else. In the back of my mind I was glad to hear there was another midwife on her way as I knew that the end must be nigh. More pressure now and contractions were getting stronger - I wanted to give up and go home or at least progress to the next level of pain relief. But I knew that meant epidural, which meant going to hospital, which meant leaving my pool - which I definitely wasn't going to do. It was bad enough when Katherine kept asking me to stand up in the water so she could record the baby's heartbeat.

The 2nd midwife, Jane, arrived at ten to midnight, bringing the much needed gas and air. I was soon starting to push at the end of contractions - almost involuntarily. Then I felt a pop and Katherine said that my waters had broken underwater. I knew that the labour would get much stronger now. I vaguely remember that the pool felt quite cool and Martyn was fussing around decanting some water off so he could refill the pool with hotter water. But I was getting well into my pushing at this point so didn't really notice.

"How will I know when the head is about to come out?" I asked in a lucid moment

"Oh you'll know..." one of the midwives replied. I kept expected one of them to examine me as I felt the birth was imminent, but they both seemed more interested in our cats (who kept wandering through the kitchen wondering where there cat bowls had gone) or trying to work out why Katherine's Sonic Aid had stopped working.

Then I could feel it coming.

"Ow, ow ow ow!" was all I said, apparently. It felt like I was having a very large poo - I could feel myself stretching and stretching - I wondered how much further I would need to stretch and then - pop - the stretching stopped and I could feel something between my legs.

"I can see the head!" said Martyn.

"Laura, put your hand between your legs and feel the head" said one of the midwives. I did as she said and felt a little head with hair waving about in the water.

"On my God, it’s a head!" I cried

"Now Laura, make sure you keep your bottom underwater until the body is born then lift him to the surface. Wait till the next contraction to push the body out." So I knelt there in the water for about 20 seconds until the next contraction arrived with this head poking out between my legs. I still expected a midwife to intervene but as the next contraction came a midwife instructed "Now catch the body in your hands...." so I reached down between my legs and caught the slippery body "…and gently bring it to the surface" and with that I brought my baby to the surface. A beautiful grey pink creature with lots of black hair that cried as soon as it felt the air on it's skin

"Oh my god," I cried "It’s a baby!" Then I remembered to look to see what sex it was. Amongst the vernix and mucus I spied a set of testicles "Yes! It's a boy! I knew it!" I cooed I stayed in pool for a while keeping his body under the water and close to me as he was cold. Martyn cut the cord and they took a cord blood sample. I handed him to Martyn to wrap in a towel and behat him (with a foolish looking baseball cap - it was the only hat we had!) while I waited for the placenta to come out I practically ordered Jane to put the kettle on I was so desperate for a cup of tea and some Mr Kipling Almond slices.

There was still no sign of Placenta so I got out of the pool and sat on beanbag on kitchen floor and the baby was put to my breast. I remember looking at Martyn amazed as the baby first started to suck. Then discovered the baby had passed his first meconium stools all over the towel, my lap and his hat!

The midwives decided it was time for action on the placenta-front so the baby was given to Martyn to hold (on the sofa in the lounge) while I lay on the kitchen floor while they manipulated my abdomen and tried to get the placenta out with cord traction. Then Katherine pointed out that I hadn't been for a wee for the whole of labour and my full bladder might be impeding the placenta's exit. So we headed up the stairs to the toilet to have a wee. Bear in mind I was naked, with a cord hanging between my legs dripping blood. which Katherine was catching in a conveniently placed towel so it wasn't my most attractive look! I couldn't wee so we returned to the kitchen floor - I was ready to accept the Syntometrine now but Katherine wanted to respect my original birth plan of having a natural 3rd stage so suggested she catheterise me to remove the offending wee. God that hurt - even though I had some extra gas and air to get me through it. And it wasn't worth it in the end as even though she got quite a bit of urine out, I still couldn't push that placenta out so we gave in and I had an injection of Syntometrine and the placenta came out within a few minutes.

In the meantime, Jane took the baby away to be weighed and measured - 7 pounds and 3 ounces and 53 cms long.

But my after-birth fiddlings weren't over yet - next came the stitches. I didn't feel like I had torn, but Katherine insisted I needed stitches. So again I was prostrate on the kitchen floor, gas and air in hand - although when I looked up I saw both the midwives, staring at my nether regions using a candelabra we had lit in the kitchen for ambience during the birth! It mad me laugh so much! "Medieval Midwives" they joked. I remember trying to describe to Jane where in the house to find a torch. In the end we 3 retired upstairs s I could lie on the bed and Katherine could see what she was doing. It still hurt like hell and I still had some gas and air, but it seemed to take ages and I wanted to see my baby so Martyn brought him up to me and I held him while they finished the stitches and M went and called his parents and my mum. The baby screamed most of the time which worried me and annoyed Katherine at work - the stitching seemed to take ages. But soon I was done and I could go and have a shower. How nice was that! Under the shower I lamented the sponginess of my abdomen and had another wee (ouch)

But soon I was dressed in my pajamas back in bed with Martyn and a baby! Oh my God! We spent the time marveling at how small and perfect he was and how much hair he had! He was asleep now and completely adorable.

The midwives left us about 4 am but we were too excited to sleep so we came back downstairs and opened the champagne we had had in the fridge since our wedding. In our sleep-deprived labour-ravaged state we listened to the radio - 'We Are Family' was playing appropriately enough - and supped  our champagne and decided to call him Daniel.

Daniel at 4 and a half months